The loss of a loved one is a difficult time for most of us. Is it possible to deal with the loss of your loved one in such a way that does not create a load of stress for you or the soul that has departed? Since my awakening, I have experienced the death of several loved ones. Not only do I remain peaceful – despite letting my emotions out – I help other relatives to be at peace as well. This approach is quite different from the usual tips you will read in articles on coping with grief after the death of a loved one.
In my new, logical, and spiritual (non-religious) approach, not only you can get over your grief fast, but you may also get enlightened.
Note: Open-mindedness and common sense is a requirement to read this article.
What Is Meant by The Loss of a Loved One?
The death of a loved one is a terrible thing, according to the Conceptual World. It conveniently downloads this negative concept about death into your Acquired Self as a part of growing up in a society.
Acquired Self and Conceptual World are some of the terms I coined when I wrote my first book on stress managment “Stress Cure Now” in 2011. You can also learn about it through one of my YouTube videos on stress management.
What Is the Acquired Self?
In short, the Acquired Self is the virtual “I” that you think you are. It consists of various concepts that get downloaded into you as you grow up in a society. For example, your name, religion, culture, nationality, profession, success, failure, money, etc. In contrast, there is Real Self that you are born with, which knows no human language and is devoid of any concepts.
What Is the Conceptual World?
The Conceptual world consists of concepts in every one’s head. For example, religions, countries, culture, socio-political, educational, and economic systems. Collectively we call it “world” but in fact it is a conceptual world. In contrast, there is “Real World” that is all real, no concepts. For example, it consists of sky, trees, animals, mountains, rivers, oceans, etc.
How Your Acquired Self Creates Grief for You
If you are in the total grip of your Acquired Self – as most people are – then the death of a loved one is a serious LOSS to your Acquired Self. Why? Because that person was not just any person, but a part of your Acquired Self.
Death snatched them away from you despite all the medical treatment, wishes and prayers. Your Acquired Self feels helpless, which leads to sadness and even depression. You may also feel angry about the doctors, healers, or even the conceptual God.
Superficial Guide to Cope with the Loss of a Loved One
The Conceptual World has created a guide to help you deal with your loss. In general, your friends are supposed to express their condolences with phrases such as “I am sorry for your loss,” “What a terrible loss”, “He was too young to die,” “I share your grief,” “May God give her a place in heaven,” etc. These phrases simply reinforce your helplessness, self-pity, and sadness.
Friends usually express their condolences as a formality, because that’s what they are supposed to do according to the Conceptual World. Some people take it very seriously. They expect sympathy messages from their friends. If for some reason a friend does not come through, they feel disappointed and may even get angry at their friends’ callous behavior.
It is All About “I, My, Me”
In short, when someone dies, your Acquired Self wants “My” emotional needs to be satisfied. “You should feel sorry for ‘Me’ because I lost ‘My’ brother.”
Deep down, the Acquired Self takes the opportunity of someone’s death to become the center of attention, which makes it very hard to get out of the downward spiral of self-pity, helplessness, and hopelessness, which may lead to depression and even suicide.
In this way, the Collective Acquired Self of the society takes a horizontal approach to the problem that it creates. In this way, it remains in hiding and continues to thrive inside you in the form of your Acquired Self.
Let us take a vertical approach using our common sense, the true wisdom that we humans have.
Common Sense Approach to The Loss of a Loved One
Everyone dies one day. That is the law of nature. No one knows how, when, or where. Everyone has a limited span of life. Therefore, treat your loved ones with love when they are alive.
No one is your property. This life span gave you and your loved one an opportunity to be close to each other. So, be nice to each other while you are alive. Help your loved ones as much as you can. Share life experiences. Communicate frequently with honesty, sincerity, and compassion. Basically, live a stress-free live for yourself and others.
NOTE: This advice is for your loved ones: relatives or friends. However, if someone is mean to you, you don’t have to be nice to them. Dig deep and figure out if you want to continue the relationship or not.
When a loved one dies, feel the emotion of SEPARATION. Let it out….
Also think about the pain and suffering that person endured before death. If you are truly close to that person, then you have seen all the pain and sufferings that person went through. In this sense, you may be even grateful to death for ending the sufferings of your loved one.
When his memories arise, treat them for what they are – memories. Don’t remain stuck in memories too long or you may start to miss that person. Stop at that point and switch your attention to the Real Now in front of your eyes: What you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch.
How Grief Turns into Peace and Spiritual Awakening
The death of a loved one also serves as a reminder of your own death. It is a wake-up call to live this lifespan with joy and peace and not to add any emotional burden to your soul.
People with near-death experiences succinctly describe how they witnessed their soul’s exit from the body. Then, they felt immense freedom and peace. Many people see a light of peace and love which has a great gravitational pull towards it.
What happens next depends upon the type of soul. A soul may be overly attached to worldly things such as a spouse, children, pets, house, money, business, career, car, their own body, or some unfinished tasks. Then, it may hang around here instead of moving towards the light.
So, you can help the soul of a loved one by talking to them around the time of death and soon afterwards. Let them know that you will be fine without them. They should move towards the light or whatever their next journey is.
In addition, get rid of attachments from your own soul. So, when it leaves your body, it is ready to embark on its new journey.
Poem – Song of Grief of a Loved One
Here is a poem I wrote many years back. I recite it and share it with my friends and family members when some loved one passes away. It brings comfort to the aching hearts.
Ten Quotes of Comfort for the Loss of a Loved One
- Death is not the end. Rather it is the beginning of a new journey for the soul.
- Think of the departing soul and not of your own self.
- The Acquired Self creates the sense of loss of a loved one. In this way, it is the basis of grief when some loved one passes away.
- It is your Acquired Self that is afraid of death.
- Death is the opposite of birth. You don’t die only if you are not born.
- Natural death brings an end to your physical sufferings and liberates your soul into the vastness.
- The Soul has immense freedom once it is liberated from the confines of a physical body.
- Your current life span gives you a great opportunity to get rid of emotional burdens from your soul.
- Don’t add any emotional burden to your soul.
- Experience the Creator while you are alive. In this way, you are peaceful during this life and the life after death.
Spiritual Dance When Some Loved One Passes away
Recently my younger brother passed away. We were so close that no words can accurately descibe our bond. I cried and cried as I watched him dying in front of my eyes. The next day, I went to the beach. Sitting on a rock, I reflected on how much pain and suffering he endured during his last year of life. “And now you are free of pain. You can go anywhere you want. What a freedom your soul must be enjoying,” I talked to his soul. The next moment, I was on my feet, feeling the freedom of my own soul as I danced randomly. My daughter video captured it. Here I share…